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I have been friends for over two decades, who has faced and conquered numerous challenges, and I respect her for that. But, she has been constantly blindsided by others. Her husband walked away, which came as a massive blow. Several of close acquaintances vanished at that point, since they had been only interested in the spouse. It shocked her deeply. She put in increased attention in our friendship, and must have understood more acutely what friendship was.

Ongoing Issues With Friends Drifting Away

In the time since, quite a few of her friends have drifted apart and she isn't sure why. Her previous job turned on her, despite the fact that she was an excellent employee, she departed not understanding why things shifted.

Present Situation

Recently, we have each stepped back from work and are seeing each other more, however, I feel my role in the relationship is to listen. I start topics of conversation only for her to redirect the talk toward what interests her. Regarding political views, she expresses strong opinions. I attempt to suggest factchecking and different perspectives.

She's been arranging a holiday abroad I know well on several occasions and resided in previously. My intention was to share insights, however, my input met with resistance. She essentially solely sought me to confirm her choices. I recently ended a month in that place she is eager to catch up, yet I'm reluctant.

Weighing the Options

I don't want to act as a friend that walks away without a word, however, I feel she'll truly understand the consequences of how she acts on how I feel about myself. Currently, my state is avoidance mode. What should I do?

Possible Paths

It's possible to end things abruptly, but it is rarely the peaceful resolution that we desire. However, addressing it with the goal of a solution requires bravery and readiness on both your parts.

Experts suggest trying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Initially requires explaining how things go during your discussions. It should be based on facts and essentially an unbiased account. Step two is to express the way it leaves you feeling. This allows for no argument here. What you feel are valid, after all. Finally is to ask how the two of you can shift the pattern between you."

Remember your friend has her own side, meaning you must to be prepared to hear that. An approach that works is to say her:

"Please share your thoughts and I promise to remain silent for 30 minutes."

It's wildly effective for promoting better communication.

Key Takeaways

Your friend may dismiss all you say, as some people cling to a “survival narrative”: they have a narrative about themselves they cannot release as it feels essential is tied to it being the only thing they trust. It's tough when there seems no thoroughfare with these people, just dead ends. But she may start out this way and then think on your words. And should you never reach a resolution, it will give you closure knowing you were truthful.